Zoe Eisenberg, iEG sex/lifestyle/The Lusty Vegan
Recently, I was talking to a girlfriend struggling with a new partner who is into dirty talk, while my friend is mute in sexy-time situations. It reminded me of the Friends episode where Ross’ new girlfriend wants him to talk dirty and he comes up with… drumroll please…”vulva.” Sexy, kinda.
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So, just like Joey and Ross did in that episode of Friends, my biff and I ran through some dirty talk exercises, because talking dirty is all about:
1. Shutting off your brain’s judgy chatter box.
2. Staying in the moment.
3. Choosing some sexy-time words that describe what you’re currently doing… or what you would like to be doing.
Basically, it’s an adult version of Mad Libs.
When you’re starting out with aural erotica, it can be hard to remain confident and not feel self-conscious. But when you’re in the middle of it, you really don’t need to worry about saying the wrong thing. If it turns you on, it will likely turn your partner on, too. Unless, like John Cena in Trainwreck, what turns you on is talking about the gym and protein. Maybe don’t do that…
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So, just for fun, here is a Mad Libs style guide to dirty talk:
I want you to __<verb>__ my __<noun>__. Your __<noun>__ is so __<adj.>__. I like it when you __<verb>__ my __<noun>__. It feels so __<adj.>__ when you __<verb>__ my __<noun>__. I’m so __<adj.>__. My ___<noun>__ gets so __<adj.>__ when you __<verb>__. You’re so __<adj.>__.
Alright, go forth and make someone blush!
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