iEG contributor, Sabico
Old news alert! We live in a hookup culture.
Someone is more likely to have sex with you than they are to go on two dates with you. So, what happens when you run into a millennial who is celibate? Yeah that C word! You may tell yourself to move on to someone who will accept your random, “Netflix & chill?” text on a Tuesday.
But what if you like this person? And what if this person still wouldn’t have sex with you if you two were the last people on “Like” Island until the two of you are married. Married? Well, damn. But maybe it can turn our better than you’d think…
Let me bring this down to the micro level.
I was recently dating two women, one giving me lots of sex– the other none. The problem was the sexy-sex-pot girl was rendered damn near mute in person. Over the phone, text, Snapchat and IG we would talk up a storm, but in person… crickets. The sexless one was very much talkative, engaging, and really just wonderful to be around in person –except for the no sex part.
I have been dating for a while, and the old me would have made a choice quicker than shit that sexy mute girl was the way to go. After all, I am a creative type and sex is the core creative energy. But these days I need more. So, I willingly gave up sex for the possibility of no sex ever… but plenty of intellectual intercourse.
The funny part is in all the not having sex I actually got to know her and became friends -who really do make great lovers. Her evil plan all along, I’m sure. There is something comforting in knowing the person I do end up in bed with actually does like me, and at that point will probably love me. The best kind of hook up ever. In the mean time, the question is: will the mere promise of (Barry white voice) love making in a sea of casual sex be enough?
My question for you is: are you willing to give up sex in the courting phase? In the relationship phase? Can you have a quality adult relationship without sex? Or are #TeamHookUp and text “maybe” we can “hang out” later kinda human? Let’s talk.